This is me...

Hey there! So glad you landed upon my little blog spot on earth! I'm trying to keep it real and hold myself accountable and figured venturing out into the public just might do the trick! So follow me...I can only promise that I will be honest, brutally honest most of the time...so if you don't like that, then move on! And if you choose to stay...glad you found me! Join me on the adventure of my lifetime...it's the NEXT forty years of my life...if the first forty is any indication of the next...well, it will be interesting to say the least...



Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Frivolous???

I googled 'frivolous' today and the FIRST thing that popped up was this:

Not having any serious purpose or value: "rules to stop frivolous lawsuits".

Not having any serious purpose or value....hmmmmm.  I wonder WHO is going to get to decide what makes a lawsuit frivolous?  Is our government going to decide?  Will it be like Torte Reform in Texas?  I've decided that this discussion will be much like that on Abortion.  You are either Pro-Life or you are Pro-Choice.  We create all kinds of shades of gray, but the truth remains, there is really only one way or the other.

And if you are pro-life can you also be pro-death penalty?  Isn't that a contradiction?  So, if you are pro-life, anti-death penalty and FOR Torte reform I wonder this....have you ever found yourself young, unwed and pregnant?  Have you ever found yourself waking up from a month long medically induced coma to find you almost died at the carelessness of a surgeon?  Have you had your child murdered by someone who is sitting on death row as you count the days until the execution?

In my forty years, I have found myself in two of these predicaments.  It doesn't really matter which two either!  All I know, is regardless of which of the two I have been through, NO ONE else should be allowed to dictate to me how I feel or what I think.  That is between me and God.  I will answer to him one day, I believe that whole heartedly.  What I am beginning to lose faith in is our country and their beliefs. 

Innocents are jailed every day, while the guilty run around free.  Everything in our society seems to revolve around money and who ever has the most, wins.  It's really kind of disgusting!  I've just written myself into a really, really bad mood...

But, at least I wrote...and it's not like anyone else is reading this anyway!

~k

Monday, January 24, 2011

Letting Myself Down

I would never dream of letting my husband, my children, my sister or my best friends down...but I constantly let myself down!  I set goals - whether they are writing goals or weight loss goals or even organizational goals, if I set it for myself, I think nothing of letting it slip.  It has been 2 months since I wrote here!  How ridiculous! Sure, my 'real' job has had mad deadlines...we pretty much work straight through from October 15th through January 15th. 
And there was Christmas and New Years in there too!  But, already a month into 2011 and here I am losing both the battle of the bulge and the battle of the words!  At this stage of the game, my writing is much more important then my desire to be thin.  Although, according to Dr. Phil, Oprah and EVERY article, book and interview on the subject, I should know what the weight issue is!  However, I really don't.  Part of me honestly thinks it doesn't matter anymore.  I am just fat and that's the way it is going to be until I leave this earth.
All the pictures from my children's childhood will show me as a FAT ass!  I don't want to accept it, I don't want to give up...but the fact is...I like to eat!  I like to eat badly!  I love cheese and I love wine!  I love bread and I guess I love it all a lot more than I want to be thin.
Although every time I look in the mirror...I think, REALLY?  You are still so fat!!  Grrrrrr!!
But, my writing...that IS important to me.  I think if I had the opportunity, I could write all day long about anything.  I didn't say it was good...I just love to write!  I want to write the next great fiction novel.  I love 'chick lit' although that is apparently NOT what it should be called!  I love Jodi Picoult's writing style and wish I had that talent.  Or maybe I have the talent, just not the means to develop it. 
However, one thing is for sure, if I don't start keeping the goals for myself, than I will NEVER know.  I would rather give it my all and fail, than to never have tried at all.
So...here I go again....I am going to promise to write here, every day...even if it's short and sweet.  I also promise to cut down 500 calories a day from my diet.  I might even tell you what it was here...who knows!  Wish me luck...better yet...just come back and read.  Be invested in me so that I might become invested in myself!

~kim