Choices

We all make choices everyday!  Sometimes our choices are great ones...and other times, we make really bad choices that lead to even more heartache than we could have imagined.  I have a big heart!  I take after my father in that way.  I love hard and I care about the people in my life - probably too much, and it is definitely a fault.  Or maybe it's more of a curse.

It's so true that no good deed goes unpunished.  I am fine with letting people come and go...it's just a part of life, but it's not okay when my daughter gets caught in the cross fire.  I know we all protect our kids and hate it when they are hurt.  But some people misunderstand 'protection' and 'letting them learn from their own mistakes'.  I am not one to sit back and watch.  However, this time, for my sanity and hers it's the best thing to do.  And it's KILLING me!

I am not perfect. I am not a perfect friend or a perfect mother.  I recognize my faults and I try every day to improve upon them.  Others, sit in judgement and they pass that judgement on to children.  That is where I have a hard time with adults who behave worse than children.

Kids are supposed to make mistakes.  They are supposed to screw up, learn from it and move on.  It's how they grow.  It's how they learn compassion and understanding.  Forgiveness is such a hard concept to grasp and at 40 I am just now getting it.  Forgiveness is about yourself more than the other person.  But, our children have to learn how to forgive - each other and themselves.  And they should not be ridiculed based on an adult's perception of a situation.  I think there are too many parents out there trying to live vicariously through their kids.  They get so wrapped up in every little thing.

I admit, I got too involved in my daughter's best friend and their relationship.  I was so excited for her to have the kind of friendship I have known for over 30 years with my two best friends, Jen and Lisa.  I welcomed the relationship and wanted to see it blossom and grow.  However, there were things, parents, that I wasn't paying attention to.

Shame on me!  However, my daughter is so strong and so smart!  She will get over this and be a better and smarter friend in the end.  I am so proud of her!  It is I who is struggling with it all...I am trying so hard to keep my head together.  I know the right thing to do is let it go, but when you see your child upset, it's hard to do that! 

I wish there was a manual for all this!

xoxo
kim