Not going to win 'Mother of the Year'

In all the years I've been alive...I never realized just how hard being a parent is...and I don't necessarily mean a good parent.  I just mean...being a parent.  It's odd...no license required, no classes, no tests, no diploma, no GED...NOTHING...and you get this little person that you are responsible for.  Then, that said cute little baby grows up...and then one day you are the shortest person in your house.  You are also the one that yells the most and the loudest because it seems that your children have all gone deaf and you have become the single most insignificant human being in their worlds.

Teachers are 'crazy'!  You act just like them...no one knows more than your children, especially not you!  You can say, "No, you may not do blah blah blah".  But, that is always met with...."OH MY GOD" followed by:  "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" And then a "I HATE MY LIFE".  Then the dreaded "I HATE YOU!!!"  or the "Why did you have children?  You HATE all of us".

In the moment...in the heat of the moment...sometimes, I must confess...I stomp my feet!  HOW CAN YOU SAY THESE THINGS TO ME??? 

I think to myself....Don't you know I gave birth to you?  Don't you know I would jump in front of a bullet for you?  Don't you know I lie awake at night worrying about paying for insurance, college, weddings and cars ALL FOR YOU?  Don't you know I would give up my life just so that you are happy....but you are NEVER happy and that makes me so sad.  I wonder where I went wrong, what did I do?  (My mom can answer this question...I was a TERRIBLE teenager of course I felt justified - Dad was an alcoholic, parents divorced....my life ruined - ok not really but I was a drama queen).

I don't think it's just karma, bad parenting and my total lack of patience anymore...I just don't know WHAT it is!  I read all the time...I know these are the hardest years...BUT COME ON...it's terrible!  I get on their level....my feelings get hurt...I am angry...I am sad.  And yet they don't seem to care!  grrrr

Love is a funny thing...you can totally love someone and totally not like them at the same time....I guess that is what is going on in my house full of teenagers...Lord, please give me strength....and a good glass of wine.

love and hugs,
k